Remember JMPy, the fluffy-tailed hero who launched our spirits, guided us through the nebula of renewal targets, and conquered the dark matter of legacy contracts? Our beloved, officially unofficial squirrel astronaut mascot retired in December 2024, leaving behind a legacy of nuts stored, targets met, and The Countdown newsletter.
But what has JMPy been doing since hanging up his spacesuit? We tracked him down to get the inside scoop on his post-JMP adventures.
JMPy was recently spotted in Las Vegas, allegedly applying multivariate analysis to the craps table.
When he isn’t perfecting his golf swing, he’s busy spending time with his grand-pups.
Spotted: JMPy, on a retirement cruise, optimizing his tan on the upper deck. Rumor has it he calculates the expected value of the buffet's seafood tower daily. Rough life for a retired icon.
Disclaimer: No squirrels were harmed in the making of these cute, digitally rendered pictures. Any resemblance to real-life squirrel astronauts (or any other squirrels, for that matter) is purely coincidental. Happy April Fool's Day, JMP!
I think JMPy has also been emptying out my bird feeder every day. No joke there!
When do the ones from the second image get to JMP as interns? They should be ready already, shouldn't they?
