This is just an informal talk, not related to work.
I have worked around statistics for about 30 years, I still cannot find a good way to explain even the two-sample t-test, a very simple and popular statistical test.
I would like to explain the assumptions as well as the (slightly limited) robustness. The following is my poor try. Are there any good textbooks to explain these things simply and honestly?
Even if 3 + 5 = 8, the solution for x1 + x2 = 8 is not only x1 = 3 and x2 = 5. The same thing often happens also in statistics.
The t-test was originally derived from X_1, ..., X_n1 -- i.i.d. N(mu_1, sigma^2) and Y_1, ..., Y_n2 -- i.i.d. N(mu_2, sigma^2), but it does not mean that the t test statistic is distributed as t-distribution only when the data is generated from this specfic model.
But the robustness changes for each situation.
(1) The violation for i.i.d. causes tragic results. For example, if you collect political opinions from Twitter (X), and try to infer to general population in Japan, the result becomes highly biased.
(2) Even when the assumption of equal variances is violated, the result is still approximately valid if sample sizes of two groups are almost equal.
(3) Even when the assumption of normality is violated, the result is still approximately valid if sample size is relatively large and if the distribution is not so skewed or so heavily tailed.
(4) The two-sample t test is also the approximation to a randomization test if sample size is relatively large. So, you can think the two-sample t test as a nonparametric test with the null hypothesis is H0: F1(y) = F2(y) for all y (although many cook books say that the t-test is a parametric test).